Time Heals No Wounds
by jelly-belly-babe
Summary: After fleeing town three years ago Paula returns to face her demons and rediscover her past. "IN PROGRESS*
1. Trials and Tribulations

TIME HEALS NO WOUNDS  
  
SUMMARY: After fleeing town of three years ago Paula comes back to face her demons and rediscover her past.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I wish to hell I owned these characters - but I don't. Every single last one of them (except for Macy) belongs to Channel 7 and I am in no way affiliated with them. Doesn't life suck?  
  
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The taxi halted to a stop.  
  
"Fifteen dollars even Miss." Said the driver from behind the plastic screen.  
  
Paula dug into her purse, whilst quickly calculating the tip and pulled out seventeen dollars and dropped the money into his hand through the whole.  
  
"Keep the change."  
  
"Thank you, have a nice day." He droned.  
  
She slung her bag over her shoulder and climbed out of the car and watched as it sped off, almost colliding with an oncoming ambulance.  
  
She turned her attention away from the vehicle and gazed at the building that stood in front of her. All Saints General Hospital. It held so many memories. It had all started so well, first with casual shifts and then with the help of Surgical Registrar Luke Forlano landing a job as a nurse on Ward 17. She had cherished the comfortable and friendly environment, the friendships and the job. She had entered the ward, the beautiful blonde glow of perfection.  
  
But the longer she worked there and the more challenges she overcame the more of her true self shone through. Still the beautiful blonde goddess, but a human who had more than her own share of problems as everyone soon found out. A one-night stand that consequently had her fall pregnant at nineteen was just the first hurdle of many.  
  
The man she loved died in the surf and the one who fathered her child left her after he heard the news. Without the support her mother showed to her and her son Max she would never have made it through. Back on the current front, one by one more problems had seemed to arise.  
  
First her son had been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and as much as she tried to deny the fact she finally faced up to the problem, finally having to resorting to pills to maintain the condition. Then she had so foolishly fallen for Ben, the hunky ambo and ex- fiancé of her colleague Bron. The couple gave in to lust, which she had mistaken for love. It had caused a permanent rift between the two workmates, which in the end proved unnecessary as she found out that she had only been a rebound from Bron, who finally found her way back into the man's arms she loved.  
  
From then it had been a downward spiral. Her mother had died suddenly from a heart attack leaving her as well as distraught and upset, petrified and completely and utterly alone. She had depended on her mother for a lot of the childcare and transport and just for support. She couldn't afford childcare and found herself begging to parents of the other children or when that wasn't possible forcing Max to hang around the hospital before and after school whilst she worked.  
  
Exhausted and still grieving, she had been out at a club one night drowning her sorrows, and too drunk to know what was happening was raped in the parking lot. She fell pregnant and that on top of grieving and being worn out become detached from her work and made a horrible mistake that had left a patient's life hanging in the balance.  
  
Although Terri the NUM (Nursing Unit Manager) knew and understood her circumstances she still couldn't dismiss the incident and had to let her go. Even though Paula knew she had made a mistake, and an error of judgement, it still hurt so much, that even though Terri knew she was a single mum, had just lost her own mother and had just been raped and fallen pregnant that she still fired her - I mean surely there could have been a way around it? But despite her anger and pain, immediately she had signed up at a temp service getting jobs her and there, as a secretary. But they weren't enough to make ends meet and when they couldn't pay the rent; they were kicked out of their home and had moved into a refuge.  
  
Suddenly Paula found herself so in over her head that she couldn't see, it was just all a blur. She found it hard to make it through the day. Everything seemed so worthless and so unimportant. More days than not, she found herself thinking about comitting suicide. How much easier it would be if she could just leave. Most likely from dehydration and fatigue she miscarried her baby at seventeen weeks and had been admitted to none other than Ward 17, All Saints General Hospital. Terri had offered help but Paula had felt so hurt and betrayed by her that she refused every offer.  
  
After being discharged she had fled town with Max and hadn't been heard of ever since. That was three years ago. How things had changed. She had driven right across the country to Perth, sleeping out of her car with her son, temping until she managed to get a job as a nurse at a District Medical Center that charged what could be afforded. One thing had led to another and she had been transferred to Princess Margaret Children's Hospital as an enrolled nurse/RN and then had been promoted to Senior Nurse, 2IC and then just a couple of months earlier to NUM.  
  
Meanwhile her son deeply scarred by all the tragedy and trauma he had endured was playing up even more than he had without his pills and caused trouble wherever he went. After one particularly nasty accident at school, he had attacked Paula, flying into a wild rage pushing her and almost drowning her in a lake before sweeping on a rampage through the local deli, shoving people wherever he went and wreaking havoc in the local mall. He was eventually caught by a social worker on a break and turned into DOCS. Paula meanwhile had been found and was in hospital being treated when she found the news. Paula loved Max dearly but she couldn't admit even to herself that he had just become too much for her. He had been handed over to DOCS and placed in a foster home where Paula had visitation rights. She treasured the visits dearly but it hurt her every time as he grew more distant and detached for her. She persevered though and finally after proving her security was granted custody of Max.  
  
She then purely by mistake managed to meet Max's father's mother who tearfully informed her that he had been killed in the line of duty in his job as a firefighter. She had only met her a couple of time but she had taken Paula in as her own daughter and helped look after Max and even though Macy could never replace Paula's own mum and she knew she would never live up to Michael, she was as great as mother-in-law's go.  
  
Finally after years in overdrive she was finally able to relax for a moment and think about what had happened. It seemed like so long ago that it all had happened in Sydney and there were some things she regretted and wished she could do again. No matter how good things became in Perth she always had the lingering feeling of her unfinished business in Sydney. She had fled her home a disgrace, leaving loose ends and broken friendships. Which is why she was back; back in Sydney and back in All Saints. 


	2. Confrontation

She bit her lip and exhaled. Holding her bag tightly she entered the hospital. She had given no sign that she was returning and she wondered if anybody ever thought about her anymore, if anybody even remembered. She wondered how things were back up in Ward 17. Was Terri still the calm, together NUM and girlfriend of Mitch, was Nelson still the tactless, controlling 2IC, Charlotte still the dry, realistic Medical Registrar. Only a matter of minutes would tell.  
  
So far she hadn't run in to anyone she knew yet and it felt strange, feeling so connected to a place, whilst also feeling so detached. It was a very unnerving feeling.  
  
She stepped into a lift. She was the only person in the elevator. She adjusted her red lace tank top, that she always thought had looked good on her slim figure but that today didn't seem quite right, over her bootleg denim jeans.  
  
She emerged from the lift and was immediately flooded with the noise and blare of the busy workday. She spotted Bron who had cut her hair into a shorter style and was showing a pregnancy bump, taking a patient's file from Luke, who looked exactly the same in his snappy shirts, spiky streaked hair and earring. Charlotte was running around trying to find a patient's file that Paula suspected had been left in the sunroom. Von enduring a telling off by Nelson, who was on warpath storming after a patient, Von looking at wit's end disappearing into the Supply Closet. It was like she had never left. Suddenly she felt a wave of uncertainty come over her. What was she supposed to do? Waltz in and sing 'Hi guys, I'm back?' After such a disgrace she had left in so many years ago? But before she could decide she heard her name called out.  
  
"Paula?"  
  
She whirled around and found her face just inches from Terri and was immediately flooded with memories. Terri her ex-NUM. Terri who had fired her from her job, despite knowing that she was a single parent, who had just lost her mother whom she was very close to and had just been raped and fallen pregnant. Terri who had betrayed her and caused her so much pain. Terri.  
  
"Paula?" Repeated Terri. It was one of the only time she had seen Terri uncertain but this was it at it's best.  
  
Suddenly Paula was overcome with the feeling of panic. She knew it was going to be hard but this was too much. Trapped and not seeing any other option, she bolted for the stairs. "Paula!" Yelled Terri.  
  
Paula sensed Terri's footsteps chasing her but didn't stop nor turn around.  
  
Tears were now rolling down her face. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have thought that she could just waltz back into All Saints like everything was okay? Everything wasn't okay, that was why she had left. In fact it had been a downright mess.  
  
Paula was a strong person who didn't like to show her feelings and she had become accustomed to erecting barricades to herself, especially after the events of the past few years, not allowing people to come too close to her, afraid of the consequential hurt she might suffer. But this flood of emotions was too much. She quickly took the stairs two at a time stumbling on the last step. She broke her fall with her hands but didn't stop. Crying openly she ran out of the hospital - right into the path of a speeding car.  
  
"Paula!" 


	3. Repercussion

The next thing Paula remembered was waking up in hospital. She struggled to open her eyes. She tried to lift her head but gave up and let it sink back into the pillow. Her head felt heavy and she had a pounding headache.  
  
"Ah, you've come back to us." She recognized Von's voice.  
  
A door opened.  
  
"Is she awake?" She heard a murmured voice ask.  
  
"Yes, just woke up."  
  
"Oh, thank god."  
  
She felt a shadow over her body and someone took her hand.  
  
"Paula, can you remember what happened?" It was Terri.  
  
She felt uneasy being so close to Terri but was too weak to argue.  
  
"I-I"  
  
She closed her eyes and thought back. She remembered the horrible panicked and trapped feeling and the bolting down the stairs right into the path of a -  
  
"You were hit by a car." Said Terri gently. "You got a couple bruises and cuts and needed two stitches on your left elbow and you broke your left ankle but other than that you're okay."  
  
"Can I go?" She began to ask feebly, but as she raised her head the whole room started to spin, images swimming in her head.  
  
She sub-consciously put her hand on her forehead and sank back into bed.  
  
"Paula we have to keep you in at least over night because you passed out for quite a while."  
  
She paused uncomfortably as if she was working up to a big speech.  
  
"Look, Paula, I know you're angry,"  
  
Paula turned onto her side facing away from Terri and cut her off. Suddenly her eyes filled with hot tears, the feelings of anger and hurt returning.  
  
"I think I have a right to be. Okay it's been a few years but it doesn't change things. Do you know just how hard it was? Trying to get through one day, without thinking of attempting suicide? I was going through one of the worst times in my whole life. I had Max to look after, mum had just died and I had just gotten raped and found out I was pregnant. I accept that I made a mistake okay? People make mistakes, but you didn't care, did you?"  
  
"Paula,"  
  
"Look, I'm tired, I don't want to talk about this right now , I'm just going to go back to sleep - if that's all right with you."  
  
She knew she sounded sassy and had been downright rude, but she wasn't ready to resolve issues just yet and besides, she really was tired.  
  
Terri paused for a minute before replying. "Okay." She said softly.  
  
Paula closed her eyes but didn't sleep. She could hear Von, who was one of the only people she had left still on good terms with, checking various things and writing on her chart.  
  
"Von?" She said quietly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Did Ben and Bron get married? Are they having their first child?" It all came blurting out. I knew Von felt uncomfortable, evident from the uncharacteristic hesitate in her voice.  
  
"Well, ah."  
  
"Von." She said plainly.  
  
Paula might have been tired and maybe a bit out of it, but she wasn't going to take any shit.  
  
"Yeah. They got married a few months after you left and um, it's their second. They had one about eighteen months ago. Names' Stefan, after Steph, his first wife, gives 'em hell sometimes but he's mostly a good bugger-"  
  
Von broke off when she realized that Paula had started sobbing quietly.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Paula didn't reply as she buried her face in her pillow. She had spent years convincing herself then Ben was nothing to her, and after months and months of telling herself this, she had finally began to believe this, until it was the only truth she knew. But now, back in Sydney, back in ASWGH, it all seemed so..so..real.  
  
Meanwhile outside Terri was talking to Bron.  
  
"So, anyway she got hit by a car."  
  
"Is she okay?" Asked Bron.  
  
"Yeah I think so. She was blacked out for quite a bit but she's going to be okay..." Terri trailed off. "This must be really hard for her. You know, like everything that happened and all that...."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Who's nursing her?" Asked Bron.  
  
"Um, Von I think Nelson assigned her because you know, they were still okay when she left." Replied Terri absently.  
  
"Um...do you um, think it would, ah be a good time to sort of you know, I just um, I just want to talk to her, you know?" Explained Bron uncertainly.  
  
"I don't know." Answered Terri truthfully. "I think it's all a bit much for her now. I mean all the memories that just came back to her, it's really hard."  
  
Terri didn't mention that she had just blown up at her.  
  
"Maybe just leave her for the moment?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Meanwhile as the nurses had been talking, someone had slipped into the ward unnoticed.  
  
Paula, shifted in the bed. Although her eyelids felt heavy and her head thumped dully, Paula wasn't tired enough to sleep. Suddenly she heard a noise and the door began to swing open. She felt her stomach drop and she gasped out loud as she her eyes landed on who was behind it. 


End file.
